Comments on: Letter From A Reader: Hugging, Holding Hands, And That’s It [Video]

By: Bolo

Bolo — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:01:45 +0000

I use to have this problem until I learned how to be comfortable talking about sex and to turn my kino sexual. Some ways to turn a conversation sexual are strawberry fields, the question game and even your own stories.

Bolo’s last blog post: Question from Reader: Pu in Argentina and Colombia

By: Marcelo

Marcelo — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 14:03:06 +0000

Yeah, this guy needs to MAN UP! If she’s doing all the cuddle and stuff, she could very well be interested in him. But the man has to lead ASAP, otherwise she’ll start thinking that he’s not that into her or whatever…

And, yes, if she refuses to scalate from there, there’s something wrong and the best way to solve it is to be up front like an adult and ask what’s going on, again, be a MAN.

If doesn’t work out like you want it, MOVE ON! And that is true that if she really like you, most probably, she will start to chase the guy.

By: Scot McKay

Scot McKay — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:03:38 +0000

Way to go, Tim. Be the CHOOSER instead of the CHASER.

Let’s hear it for not being “clouded by beauty-vision”. Trying to cajole a woman into something she’s uncomfortable with tends to backfire.

And you’re very right. Giving her “space” very often is what is needed for someone to realize what they really want. That one goes for both genders too, most definitely.

By: Tim

Tim — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:03:13 +0000

I dated a woman who was raised Christian, and now appears more “liberal” - but not really. She also is a serial dater and while we dated there was always a “boyfriend” that was not around on Saturday nights. When there wasn’t an absent boyfriend she would explain that her divorce scarred her and how she couldn’t really have a relationship, per se.

I have game and things happened, but in the end it was too dramatic. Scott is right. I moved her out of my life and now she is on the outside of my life, wishing she could return. I told her to cuddle with her “boyfriends” because I couldn’t handle the rejection of her being emotionally unavailable. I was intentionally not “friends” with her but could never be her “boyfriend.”

I keep her now as a friend (and for eye candy) and as a result I have met women who are “ready.” The women I select feel good because I like them better than the “really pretty girl” who they assume I am dating. In any one-on-one situation with a woman I always escalate, and if I get signals but she turns down kissing, I move her to the friend zone immediately. After that, the woman does not get to kiss me unless *I* feel extra friendly. This has sometimes resulted in a woman chasing me.

If you set standards for her physical investment and she doesn’t deliver, move on. It will not happen. Women do not suddenly realize they are falling in love with you unless they have something at stake. “Free cuddles” will not advance your relationship. Stop.